Be Kind to Yourself

I’ve always disliked those books that push you to “just be positive” or tell yourself you’re perfect and amazing. It never felt real—and honestly, it’s not sustainable.

Now I’m halfway through Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff, and this one feels different. It doesn’t ask you to deny your struggles. Instead, it invites you to acknowledge your pain, to recognize that suffering isn’t unique to you, and to treat yourself with kindness precisely because of that shared humanity.

When something overwhelming happens or you make a mistake, the book says not to jump straight into giving yourself bunch of solutions. Instead, it says: pause. Simply acknowledge that you’re in pain. You’re human.

Neff suggests literally giving yourself the same compassion you’d offer a close friend. Hug yourself if you need to, and repeat this mantra:

"This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need."

Those thoughts that seem to cling to your mind won’t disappear by ignoring them. They start to loosen their grip when you acknowledge them—and meet them with compassion.